According to the Center for
Disease Control (CDC) almost one out of every ten children, in the United
States, has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
(ADHD). Behaviors include
inability to focus, inattention, hyperactivity, and challenges in controlling
impulsive behavior. A higher
percentage of boys are diagnosed with the disorder than girls.
(http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/)
Scientists do not know what
causes ADHD, though studies have focused on everything from genes to
environmental causes. Treatment often includes medication, psychotherapy,
education and /or a combination of the above. There are currently over a
dozen medications used to treat the condition, according to the National
Institute of Mental Health (http://www.nimh.nih.gov). For parents and
teachers, as well as the children diagnosed with ADHD – there are daily
challenges.
A significant advocate for
innovative techniques to address behavioral problems in children, without the
use of medication, is therapist Howard Glasser, M.A. Glasser has gained a
sizable following from parents, teachers, and therapists, and is author
of the bestselling book on ADHD, “Transforming the Difficult Child.”
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“The difficult child has
been assigned many labels depending on current symptoms, current fads in
diagnostic thinking, who is doing the labeling and the labeler’s frustration
with the child.”
– Howard Glasser
Photos provided by Shan Boggs.
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SHAN: You are regarded as
something of a miracle worker with difficult children. How did you find this
mission in life?
HOWARD: I feel my mission was given to me. In
my practice, I came to the realization that the methods I learned in school –
basically treating behavioral problems in children with medication and
therapy – were not working. In fact, these seemed to be contributing to the
problems I was seeing in patients.
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It took getting out of my
own way and really listening and observing to see what was actually happening
with children and their parents and that certain techniques were energizing
bad behavior. Once I had this realization, I turned things upside down and
was able to help people understand immediately that not focusing on the
“problem behavior,” but on new patterns of behavior was what was needed.
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SHAN: What are some of the
everyday challenges difficult children face in the way they relate to their
environment, whether at home or in school?
HOWARD: The biggest
challenges for children with behavioral problems are the people in their
environment – the well-intentioned traditional responses they receive. Adults
learn to respond to kids by having been a kid and from reading about
parenting. Most adults have a lot of power and can have very “charged”
responses to a child, even when a child does mildly wrong things. Yet, when
children make right choices this rarely elicits more than a little response
from adults. So, the biggest obstacle for children is how people respond to
their choices. They generally receive more responses when they’re tripping up.
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SHAN: What are some simple tips you can share with parents and teachers?
HOWARD: Help children feel
cherished. Refuse to give the gift of yourself that energizes the
relationship with a child through long-winded lectures. Turn the world upside
down – praise the child when he/she is being responsible, when not arguing or bothering a sibling or classmate. Notice
a child’s choice when they are
getting along and tell them, “How thoughtful of you to be respectful to
others, kind, and collaborative. I appreciate the great choices you are
making.”
Children not only deserve
to hear this – they need it. When they begin to trust, they fall into a new
pattern. When they break a rule? Turn away. Then praise them when they get
back on track. It’s very simple.
SHAN: The word “nurture”
comes up a great deal in your teachings and writing. Can you explain its
significance?
HOWARD: Nurture is a key
word. It refers to a quality of giving and receiving by an adult to a child.
“Good job” doesn’t completely capture it. It has to be genuine and specific.
Compliments are like food to the soul. When children get nurtured, it tells
them on a deep level who they really are.
If you have a child who
does argue, fight or get disrespectful you know how great it is when that is
not happening. That’s a wonderful and inspiring indicator for parents and
teachers to create an ability to truly appreciate the child for any and all
things that could be happening that aren’t. Let them know how great their choices are and how
grateful you are.
Managing behaviors is about
transformation - transforming kids into their full potential. Then they will want to do well in school and fulfill their purpose and dreams.
“Anyone who has
experienced the glory of focusing his energies and accomplishing a goal or a
project or mastering a skill knows that energy is a gift.”
– Howard Glasser
Howard Glasser is the
author of “Transforming the Difficult Child”; “The Inner Wealth Initiative:
The Nurtured Heart Approach for Educators”; “All Children Flourishing:
Igniting the Greatness of Our Children”; “Transforming the Difficult Child:
True Stories of Triumph”; and other books. His books can be found on
Amazon.com or on his website.
For more about Howard
Glasser and The Children’s Success Foundation, please visit:
http://www.childrenssuccessfoundation.com/
